The case: huge Google Drive directory (100K+ files, one directory), used to work fine with Macfuse, but because of MacOS (Sequoia, that breaks things) numerous flaws I need to migrate to NFS.
I won't comment about nfsmount but have you tried FUSE-T instead of MacFUSE for normal mount? It does not need any kext and is also using NFS - but one provided by Apple.
Note that --nfs-cache-handle-limit controls the maximum number of cached file handles stored by the nfsmount caching handler. This should not be set too low or you may experience errors when trying to access files. The default is 1000000, but consider lowering this limit if the server's system resource usage causes problems.
I am not sure how many handlers are "consumed" per file but I would try to increase this value.
Please note that nfsmount development is still work in progress and at least on macOS it has known bugs:
Hence from my experience I would recommend FUSE-T on macOS instead.
most likely it hangs as updating directory every few minutes. Add:
--vfs-refresh --dir-cache-time 9999h
to load all data structure on mount start in the background (give it some time to see results). It is polling remote so also no need to invalidate it on timer.
Thank you. For other reasons I'm on latest Sequoia beta, so MacFuse does not load (known boot loop), Fuse-T works on and off and extremely slow and NFS serve also has hiccup. I guess I've got to wait for promised native Apple Fuse API (no kernel ext.).